In sober and impartial mood

I judge my new son wholly good.

He has his mother's form and feature.

He has his father's great good nature.

I looked him over well, and saw

No scar, no blot, no fleck, no flaw.

Without a trace of prejudice

I say there is no man like this

In all his race and generation

Across the continent and nation.

But I am baffled in the act

Of mentioning this simple fact

By most unreasonable conceit

In mothers strangely indiscreet,

And fathers new to fatherhood,

Who think they have the only good,

Superior, and handsome child

Since the Atlantic coast was wild,

And have no shame in saying so

Loudly everywhere they go.