Some men have woe, and some have weal.

But how does a man on Monday feel

Whose newest novel, or book of rhymes,

Has been reviewed in the Sunday Times?

Why, full of weal mixed up with woe.

I asked a writer, who told me so.

Hello, there, Fred Augustus Peel,"

I said to him, "and how do you feel?"

"Disturbing! Lively! Rich! Profound!

Exciting! Skillful! Witty! Sound!"

These are the words I heard him say.

"Authentic! Challenging! Here to Stay!

Functional! Haunting! Epic! New!

Amazing! Eloquent! Vivid! True!

Triumphant! Tender! Highly Prized!

Alert! Original! Civilized!"

And that's what Fred Augustus said

In a loud clear voice on Monday morn,

And muttered he wished he'd never been born,

And added he wished that he were dead.