Everyone knows about Boston,

Where "a" is exceedingly broad;

Where the principal cowpaths and highways

Were projected b' guess and b' God;

Where the Lowells eat only the Cabots,

And Cabots feed only on cod.

It is known that the natives are nourished

On fishcakes and brownbread and beans,

And develop incredible powers

Of grasping what Emerson means.

It is known that the accent in Boston

Results from an excess of brain,

Which derives from a schooling at Harvard,

And gives the mid-westerners pain.

The natives of Boston are cultured.

The streets are the spokes of a wheel.

The twilight of civilization

Is a fact that, though chilly, is real

In Boston, where children speak British

And nobody thinks it is odd;

Where a Lowell speaks only with Cabots,

And a Cabot speaks only to cod,

And a codfish speaks only to codfish

In accents exceedingly broad.