I asked myself what hour and day, what year,

My joy and faith departing left me here.

It was the year I knew the hardest task

Was not so if difficult, the cost not half so dear

That even I could live despair quite through,

And come out on the other side,

And suffer all the light that fell

Upon that future stretching wide,

Finding it mattered little after hell

So when I knew the line was crossed,

And none could answer questions but myself,

Then I was confident and did not care,

Certain forever I had not been lost.

Then all went well as heart could think,

As any heart could think, except

And no one knew when I was quite alone,

Or knew how heavily my heart could sink.

It is enough to keep, the secret there

That joy however high and strong,

Nor sorrow deep nor sorrow long,

Can be too great for me to bear,

Although with desperate hurt and deep,

The subtlety of life has bent my sleep.