Collected Poems of John Holmes
Holmes, John A., Jr.
2002
Father
Father
He looks at me with his eyes and I know nothing. He says a few Words of a sound but no communication. Yes. All right. I doubt My own existence, but he is fourteen, and being a father is not new, Except that I am his father and want to break something or shout. | |
What he is trying to say is that all this has happened before. He is not saying that his grandfather's eldest son didn't shiver, Confronting the tribe, past landscapes of a door, another door, And a door at the back of the house that blew open to Never. | |
He reminds me of myself, as he stumbles over his feet or a tool. He has too few words and I have too many. We speak across a thin Long looped dangling wire. I cannot understand his work at school. I cannot do algebra, not helpfully; and not much to my chagrin. | |
But to fail him even there is to feel again the little hammer On-what? Conscience? Of course my heart. But pride, insight, The incommunicability of love, and of such love the simple grammar Fumbled, and in us both the silence and the need and appetite. | |