London Labour and the London Poor, Volume 1
Mayhew, Henry
1861
Of the Street-Sellers of Conundrums.
AMONG the more modern street sales are "conundrums," generally vended, both in the shops and the streets, as "Nuts to Crack," when not in the form of books. This is another of the "broad-sheets," and is sufficiently clever and curious in its way. | |
In the centre, at the top, is the "Wonderful Picture," with the following description: "This Picture when looked at from a particular point of view, will not only appear perfect in all respects and free from distortion, but the figures will actually appear to stand out in relief from the paper." The wonderful picture, which is a rude imitation of a similar toy picture sold in a box, "with eye-piece complete," at the shops, presents a distorted view of a churchspire, a light-house, a donjon-keep, castellated buildings backed by mountains, a moat on which are vessels, an arch surmounted by a Britannia, a palm-tree (I presume), and a rampart, or pier, or something that way, on which are depicted figures, with the gestures of elocutionists. The buildings are elongated, like shadows at sunset or sunrise. What may be the "particular point of view" announced in the description of the Wonderful Picture, is not described in the "Nuts," but the following explanation is given in a little book, published simultaneously, and entitled, "The Nutcrackers, a Key to Nuts to Crack, or Enigmatical Repository:" | |
"THE WONDERFUL PICTURE.—Cut out a piece of cardboard inches long, make a round hole about the size of a pea in the top of it; place this level with the right-hand side of the Engraving and just inches distant from it, then apply your eye to the little hole and look at the picture, and you will find that a beautiful symmetry pervades the landscape, there is not the slightest appearance of distortion, and the different parts appear actually to stand up in relief on the paper." | |
Below the "Wonderful Picture" are other illustrations; and the border of the broadsheet presents a series of what may be called pictorial engravings. The is, | |
The answer being evidently "Diocese." No. is | |
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In the body of the broad-sheet are the Enigmas, &c., announced; of each of which I give a specimen, to show the nature of this street performance or entertainment. Enigma is—
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As the answer is foot-ball, the last lines should manifestly have been placed . | |
The "Conundrums" are next in the arrangement, and I cite of them: | |
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"Because," is the reply, " of them are lent and never returned." The "Riddles" follow in this portion of the "Nuts to Crack." Of these, is not very difficult to be solved, though it is distinguished for the usual grammatical confusion of tenses: | |
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The "Charades" complete the series. Of these I select of the best:
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The other parts of the letter-press consist of "Anagrams," "Transpositions," &c. | |
When a clever patterer "works conundrums" —for the trade is in the hands of the pattering class—he selects what he may consider the best, and reads or repeats them in the street, sometimes with and sometimes without the answer. But he does not cripple the probable quickness | |
286 | of his sale by a slavish adherence to what is in type. He puts the matter, as it were, personally. "What gentleman is it," man told me he would ask, "in this street, that has— |
'Eyes like saucers, a back like a box, A nose like a pen-knife, and a voice like a fox?' | |
You can learn for a penny. Or sometimes I'll go on with the patter, thus," he continued, "What lady is it that we have all seen, and who can say truly— | |
'I am brighter than day, I am swifter than light, And stronger than all the momentum of might?' | |
More than once people have sung out 'the Queen,' for they seem to think that the momentum of might couldn't fit any else. It's 'thought' as is the answer, but it wouldn't do to let people think it's anything of the sort. It must seem to fit If I see a tailor's name on a door, as soon as I've passed the corner of the street, and sometimes in the same street, I've asked— | |
'Why is Mr. So-and-so, the busy tailor of this (or the next street) never at home?' | |
'Because he's always cutting out.' I have the same questions for other tradesmen, and for gentlemen and ladies in this neighbourhood, and no gammon. All for a penny. Nuts to Crack, a penny. A pair of Nutcrackers to crack 'em, only penny." | |
Sometimes this man, who perhaps is the smartest in the trade, will take a bolder flight still, and when he knows the residence of any professional or public man, he will, if the allusion be complimentary, announce his name, or —if there be any satire—indicate by a motion of the head, or a gesture of the hand, the direction of his residence. My ingenuous, and certainly ingenious, informant obliged me with a few instances:—"In Whitechapel parish I've said—it ain't in the print, it was only in the patter—'Why won't the Reverend Mr. Champneys lay up treasures on earth?'—'Because he'd rather lay up treasures in heaven.' That's the reverend gentleman not far from this spot; but in this sheet—with nearly engravings by the artists, only a penny—I have other questions for other parsons, not so easy answered; nuts as is hard to crack. 'Why is the Reverend Mr. Popjoy,' or the Honourable Lawyer Bully, or Judge Wiggem,—and then I just jerks my thumb, sir, if it's where I know or think such people live —'Why is the Reverend Mr. Popjoy (or the others) like balloons, in the air to the east, and the 'tother in the air to the west, in this parish of St. George's, Hanover-square?' There's no such question, and as it's a sort of a 'cock,' of course there's no answer. I don't know . But a gentleman's servant once sung out: ''cause he's uppish.' And a man in a leather apron once said: 'He's a raising the wind,' which was nonsense. But I like that sort of interruption, and have said—'You'll not find answer in the Nutcrackers,' only a penny—and, Lord knows, I told the truth when I said so, and it helps the sale. No fear of any 's finding out all what's in the sheet before I'm out of the 'drag.' Not a bit. And you must admit that any way it's a cheap pennorth." That it is a cheap harmless pennyworth is undeniable. | |
The street-sale of conundrums is carried on most extensively during a week or before Christmas; and on summer evenings, when the day's work is, or ought to be, over even among the operatives of the slop employers. As the conundrum patterer requires an audience, he works the quieter streets, preferring such as have no horse-thoroughfare—as in some of the approaches from the direction of to . The trade is irregularly pursued, none following it all the year; and from the best information I could acquire, it appears that men may be computed as working conundrums for months throughout the , and clearing weekly, per individual. The cost of the "Nuts to Crack" (when new) is a doz. to the seller; but old "Nuts" often answer the purpose of the street-seller, and may be had for about half the price; the cost of the "Nutcrackers" to It may be calculated, then, that to realize the , must be taken. This shows the street expenditure in "Nuts to Crack" and "Nut-crackers" to be yearly. | |