London at the End of the Century:A Book of Gossip
a Beckett, Arthur William
1900
WHAT TO TAKE AND HOW TO TAKE IT.
I will assume that I, in my character of Dr. Farren Farce's have decided to Believing courteously that the presence of my better seven-eighths, although doubling the expense, quadruples the pleasure of the journey, I have taken coupons for two. My first anxiety is about the luggage. I explain that if I register the Gladstone bag there will be delay at the terminus, and delay means no at the Grand. For the regulation (which is a trifle stricter than the laws of the Medes and Persians) declares that no would-be reveller shall enter the after half-past seven. And as (when I am in ) I am nothing if not greedy, this rule is of the utmost importance. So I take my Gladstone bag, my hatbox, and a roll of coats with me in the carriage. My bag contains the regulation necessaries, inclusive of evening clothes for myself, and several belonging to my better seven-eighths; the hat-box, besides the go-to-meeting topper, all that was crowded out of the bag; and the roll of coats beyond the garments named, all the things that have been crowded out of the hat-box. It is, consequently, a relief to me that the (a gentleman who, commencing with | |
308 | an extremely military cap, suddenly drops into mufti from his chin downwards) does not order the roll of coats to be examined. If, instead of marking the bundle with a he had insisted upon its being opened, he would have been surprised at the vastness and variety of its contents. Later on, when I ask what have become of my collars, my boot-jack, my slippers, my frock-coat, my writing-packet, my sponges, my toilette requisites, my white ties, my reserve of cigars, and my prayer-book, I am told, and accurately told, that they are all in the bundle. And here I may hint that as the roll of coats is so full of good things, it is as well to have it firmly strapped up before starting. It is distinctly embarrassing if it comes undone (as I have known it to do) when it is being conveyed by a youthful mariner from the train to the boat. |
