London at the End of the Century:A Book of Gossip

a Beckett, Arthur William

1900

CALAIS OR CAIRO?

 

However, it is sometimes possible to carry out doctor's orders without resorting to the extreme measures conveyed in the medical commands. For instance, only the other day I had a proof of the convenient manner of obeying the spirit rather than the words of the prescription. A very old and valued friend of mine is accustomed to compare every now and again what may be termed our mutual ailments. As a rule, whoever commences the comparison has to submit to the other going one better, or rather, I should say, one worse. If I assert I have a bad headache my friend not only has a raging pain in the

298

forehead, but that pain extends right down the neck. If he tells me that he believes he has incipient lumbago, I assure him that I am quite certain I am in the first stage of rapidly-creeping paralysis.

said my friend, a day or two ago.

was my prompt reply, going, according to the rule of the game, one worse.

continued my comrade in adversity,

I put in again, scoring cleverly.

said my friend,

The last statements were not only interesting to ourselves, but had the additional merit of being absolutely accurate. So we determined, as the lesser commanded the greater, we would see what could be done within the inside hours of a Sunday.

But that necessitated very early rising, and my friend and I came to the conclusion that as we were both suffering from insomnia we ought not to think of moving until 9 a.m. I am not sure that we had any doctor's opinion to support our contention, but

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we had a pious belief that to stay in bed until the sun was ready to receive was emphatically the right thing to do.

asked my friend, as if he were putting a conundrum full of pleasing possibilities.

I answered.

 
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 Title Page
 Dedication
 PREFACE
CHAPTER I: LONDON AT THE END OF THE CENTURY
CHAPTER II: STRANGERS IN LONDON
CHAPTER III: RELIGION IN LONDON
CHAPTER IV: A PEEP INTO STAGELAND
CHAPTER V: PARLIAMENT UP TO DATE
CHAPTER VI: A NIGHT IN THE HOUSE
CHAPTER VII: THE PREMIER CLUB OF ENGLAND
CHAPTER VIII: LONDONERS HOLDING HOLIDAY
CHAPTER IX: THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CLUB
CHAPTER X: IN RATHER MIXED CLUBLAND
CHAPTER XI: IN AUXILIARY CLUBLAND
CHAPTER XII: A PANTOMIME AT DRURY LANE
CHAPTER XIII: LONDON EXHIBITIONS
CHAPTER XIV: COACHING THE UNIVERSITY CREW
CHAPTER XV: THE SEQUEL TO THE DERBY
CHAPTER XVI: THE LONDON GONDOLA
CHAPTER XVII: LONDON ON STRIKE
CHAPTER XVIII: LONDON FIRES
CHAPTER XIX: PALL MALL AND PRIVATE THOMAS ATKINS
CHAPTER XX: CONCERNING THE LONDON VOLUNTEERS
CHAPTER XXI: SERVING WITH THE LONDON MILITIA
CHAPTER XXII: LONDON GUNNERS AT SHOEBURYNESS
CHAPTER XXIII: BECOMING A SOCIETY LION
CHAPTER XXIV: ENTERTAINING THE WORKING MAN
CHAPTER XXV: CHOOSING A FANCY DRESS
CHAPTER XXVI: PARLIAMENTARY SPEAKING
CHAPTER XXVII: ART IN LONDON
CHAPTER XXVIII: SPENDING BANK HOLIDAY IN LONDON
CHAPTER XXIX: A BANK HOLIDAY WITHOUT 'ARRY
CHAPTER XXX: LONDON OUT OF TOWN
CHAPTER XXXI: LONDONERS AND THEIR SUMMER HOLIDAYS
CHAPTER XXXII: LONDONERS AND THE CHANNEL
CHAPTER XXXIII: LONDON UNDER DOCTOR'S ORDERS
CHAPTER XXXIV: TWO CITIES IN FORTY-EIGHT HOURS
CHAPTER XXXV: THE LONDONER'S SEARCH FOR HEALTH
CHAPTER XXXVI: THE PARISIAN PART OF THE LONDON DISTRICT
CHAPTER XXXVII: A NOVELTY IN LONDON RECREATIONS
CHAPTER XXXVIII: LONDON SCHOOLBOYS AT THE END OF THE CENTURY