Meghan Podolsky: There we go. Okay. Meghan Podolsky: Today is Tuesday, April 28 2020. My name is Meghan Podolsky and I'm interviewing Jess Pearson as a part of the Covid-19 documentation project. Meghan Podolsky: Do you, Jess Pearson, consent to this interview being recorded and donated to the Tufts Digital Collections and Archives in order to be made openly available online in the Tufts Digital Library? Jessica Pearson: I do. Meghan Podolsky: Yehaw, we're off and running. Meghan Podolsky: Okay. Um, so why don't we get started, tell me what's your affiliation with the university and... Meghan Podolsky: What class do you teach? Jessica Pearson: I am a fourth-year PhD candidate in the Jessica Pearson: the Theatre and Performance Studies program in the Theater, Dance, and Performance Studies Department. Jessica Pearson: And I am teaching Introduction to Acting this semester. Meghan Podolsky: Um, how did you learn of the university's decisions to close campus and cancel activities? Jessica Pearson: Oh, this is kind of a fun story. Meghan Podolsky: Oooh, fun story! Jessica Pearson: So what we were at rehearsal for Sweeney Todd and we came into rehearsal and we were scheduled, we were blocking the last scene in this show and... the like, the night before or early that morning at some point was when Harvard had made the decision... Jessica Pearson: to go online and to like take everybody off campus so we all kind of like had a sense that it was coming down the pipeline, cause it's like the flip had been switched. One of the Boston schools had went. Jessica Pearson: And so it was like you know what until we talked about it a lot, but it's like, let's just like block the scene, this last scene. Jessica Pearson: And we were like, like one page from the end of the show. Maya, who's the stage manager was like, Jess I got an email from the university. And I said, Maya, do not open that email until I finish Jessica Pearson: blocking the show. Jessica Pearson: And then I was like, told Mick the last couple of things she should do and the final moment of the show. And I was like, and that's the show! And then I was like, Maya you can open that email. Jessica Pearson: And Maya opened the email and was like Jessica Pearson: Yep, we're going online. We're like, okay, great. And then we all sat together... But Jessica Pearson: that's how I found out officially. Meghan Podolsky: Um, so that was like obviously when the university was like we're going online. Jessica Pearson: Yeah. Meghan Podolsky: And... did you realize immediately that meant the show would not be happening or like were you like maybe... or like, what was that like? Jessica Pearson: I-I have like done a lot of... like... once it must have been the night before Harvard went online or I'd been home during the day, I don't remember. Jessica Pearson: Because I had talked it through with my husband. I was like- I was like, if we go online and they have to leave, like the show's canceled. Which means- which means it's not safe to gather. So I had processed it. Jessica Pearson: But in that moment, like with the cast that was there and like slowly the rest of the cast kind of just like showed up at rehearsal was like guys! Jessica Pearson: Um, they all kind of, like everybody kind of just like showed up even people who weren't called, they were all like, is there a way, could we come back? Is there a... And then I was like, then I got a text from Noe and then and it was like, all kinds of, everybody was communicating Meghan Podolsky: Is Noe your... Jessica Pearson: and it was all kind of like there's no- what did you say? Meghan Podolsky: Is Noe your directing mentor? Jessica Pearson: Yeah, he was my directing mentor, um. Jessica Pearson: and it kind of became like okay this is... this is over. We can have one more rehearsal, but this is... this is it. Um... Jessica Pearson: and that was like Jessica Pearson: I feel like I was a little more prepared in the moment, because I had like, my freak-out with like, I knew this was coming down the line. Jessica Pearson: Um... because... cause like BU had closed, talking about closing and like. A lot of my friends are academics so there were a lot of people like, talking online like people in the DC schools where I used to work. Jessica Pearson: Or like this is- this is happening. We're talking about this, nobody's announced everything so I was kind of like prepared. But I feel like the cast was not, like had not really thought about it. Jessica Pearson: It was kind of like Meghan Podolsky: I was there for part of it, but could you tell Meghan Podolsky: me about that last conversation you had with the cast- I mean, I know it wasn't last- but like that night, the rehearsal when everyone kind of trickled in and like what did you talk about? What kind of emotions were expressed? How did you, what did you tell them, what words of wisdom did you impart? Jessica Pearson: Yeah, um. Jessica Pearson: I think... I mean and you can like, if I said something really brilliant that you remember like, chime in Jessica Pearson: so we can record it for posterity. Um, but I remember just being like... oh God, like what... Jessica Pearson: What can I say to make this like awful situation, particularly for the seniors, like we had put... this is a har- can I curse? Meghan Podolsky: Yeah. Jessica Pearson: kay, a hard-ass show. And like, we've worked so fucking hard on it because it's a really difficult show and like, it was just starting to come together. Jessica Pearson: It was just, we were just hitting that point where we were like, at that point in the process, particularly with a difficult show really, Oh shit, this is going to work. Jessica Pearson: And we have just hitting that point and I just remember being like, this is I need to, like, make sure they know how important it is that we did that work. And that even though we don't get to share that with people, we did that work. Jessica Pearson: And- and like I just remember feeling the need to like thank them for how much work they had put in and how like, how hard everybody like... Jessica Pearson: had like... worked. I keep saying work. Jessica Pearson: But like the dedication that people had given to this project and how that that was like, that was still like a beautiful and important experience for me. Jessica Pearson: And that, just because we didn't get to perform doesn't mean that the work didn't happen and didn't mean that that wasn't valuable as artists and that the creation process is for me, what's important, not the final product. Jessica Pearson: And... Jessica Pearson: And that- that was and that had been a beautiful thing and that we had created something really beautiful in the room, even if it never got to be like the public show we were all expecting. We had still created something, and that thing was beautiful. And that was good. That was important. Jessica Pearson: Um, and I think beyond that, I just like, I wanted- I wanted... to like let people know that like, I was still going to be there for them. But even though this was like done but like... Jessica Pearson: Like an ensemble is a beautiful thing and you like kind of share that experience with the group of people, you always like, oh, this is the... this is the group of people I did this show with. Jessica Pearson: Um, and it was kind of an interesting group in the cast because we had a lot of seniors. We also had a lot of freshmen. Jessica Pearson: Um, so it was kind of like this odd like dual-thing between being like, this is a weird first show for you to be in in college and like, oh God, this is a weird last show for you to be in college too. Meghan Podolsky: . Jessica Pearson: Um, so that like... and they feel like that night, the night we found out like I felt like I was like I'm sad... but I'm like together and I'm like, that can be a soothing and in-charge presence, which did not last in the next rehearsal. Jessica Pearson: I'm controlling my emotions, I've prepared that this has happened. I'm trying to just like... let them all know that, like, I love them and that their work is important and good. Jessica Pearson: As everybody trickled in and we eventually like told everybody in the cast. And like Jonathan Rooney showed up. Meghan Podolsky: Yeah, that was fun. Jessica Pearson: Yeah, he was just like, I was just in the building. Jessica Pearson: I was like yeah, come on, come be sad together... communal sadness. Meghan Podolsky: Yeah, there was something very cathartic about it that... which you know, like theater is one big... like form of carthasis anyway so like- Jessica Pearson: Yeah. Meghan Podolsky: -it felt very appropriate. Um, can you tell me about like how you find out that you get to have a final read and [inaudible]- Meghan Podolsky: -and what that was like? Jessica Pearson: So we knew, based on like the timeline that the university had laid out, like this is when classes are going to, and this is when things are ending, Jessica Pearson: that we would be able to have one more rehearsal. And I was like, I think we've been planning to like run Act 2 or something in the schedule and it was like... I looked at Maya and I was like, we should just run the show, we should just run the show. Jessica Pearson: I was like, we have everything, we should just like do it one last time to say we did it. And then, and so I was in this like Jessica Pearson: text conversation with Noe and Maya was texting Joe and then eventually it got to be like me being in this text thread with Noe, and Joe, and Joanne, being like, can we use Balch? We just want to like, we're not gonna... Jessica Pearson: It's not a performance... We had to do like all of these like very particular things from Joe that it's like you can't invite people who aren't weren't already involved. Like, you can't do this XYZ because it's still a rehearsal, we can't... It's not a performance, that's illegal. Jessica Pearson: But like basically as soon as we got the email, Maya and I were like, okay, how can we, how can we make this be like a thing that feels like it has some closure. Jessica Pearson: Um, and really, nobody's... nobody's gonna be in Balch tomorrow and and eventually- and like I'm very thankful to like the on-high people, to like Joe and and Joanne for making that possible. Jessica Pearson: Because it did. I think having that final rehearsal in Balch did make it feel like, an ending in a way that having it in seventy-five Jessica Pearson: wouldn't have. So we just decided, it's like, okay we can- you can't invite people, but we're going to get the whole cast together. We're going to get all the designers Jessica Pearson: that can be there and we're going to run it once. Jessica Pearson: First time, last time. Jessica Pearson: And Jessica Pearson: yeah, that's kind of how we decided to do that and then. Jessica Pearson: And figuring out, it's like, yeah great, we'll just figure it out! Like you're trying to set and there's we didn't have like costumes, but it's just like eh. And we have some like rehearsal pieces but that money fell, but it's like okay. Jessica Pearson: But that's kind of how we decided to do that that final thing. Meghan Podolsky: Um, yeah, I was there and agree. Um, I do want to move on to like teaching and your PhD and stuff. But is there anything else that you want to say about Sweeney or the experience? Jessica Pearson: Um, I think that it's just, I keep going back to that last, that last night and like what a Jessica Pearson: beautiful experience that was, I think. For- I mean, for I can only speak to my own experience, but I just wept at the end. Jessica Pearson: But it was just kind of like, for me, like that's what theater is about. Like we got together and shit was tough, but we made a thing Jessica Pearson: and we shared it, and we felt things, and we bonded. And it was just kind of really beautiful for me, is that we all kind of like came together and it wasn't what we expected it to be. Jessica Pearson: But it was beautiful and and we got to share the work we had done with some people and I feel like that was really meaningful for me at the very least. Meghan Podolsky: I wholeheartedly agree. Meghan Podolsky: Um, okay. So shifting gears a little bit, um, you're working on a PhD Meghan Podolsky: for years. I know that you're writing it, written it, or some stage? Meghan Podolsky: whatever stage you're in, how has, you know, being pushed off campus online, existing in the pandemic- how has that changed either your process or the way that you are conducting your research or doing your PhD? Jessica Pearson: So I am in, I'm in the writing phase of my dissertation and I have said this to several people to Barbara and Nellie. Jessica Pearson: Um, it is in check-ins that I decided that what I was going to do when I started the dissertation process was I was going to do all of the research. Jessica Pearson: And then I was going to write, as opposed to some people do like okay, I'm going to research this chapter, and I'm going to write it. And then I'm gonna research this chapter that I'm going to write it. Jessica Pearson: I just decided I was like, I'm going to do all of one thing, and then all of another thing, both socks and then both shoes. Jessica Pearson: Um, which is just like, that's just personal preference in the way people work. And at this point, I'm like oh thank God I did that because it's not like I can go to the New York Public Library and go through archives now. I did all of my archival research Jessica Pearson: about a year ago last May. I like did a whirlwind, like a couple of trips to archives. Jessica Pearson:And I just felt like very grateful that I did that because I can theoretically just Jessica Pearson: sit quarantine in my apartment and write. Jessica Pearson: However, it's very difficult to get into that like, focused productive-like writing headspace when the world is falling apart. Jessica Pearson: Um, and, and it's something that like I've talked to Barbara about and that she's been very understanding of is that, like yeah, I'm gonna need a little extra time on some deadlines. Jessica Pearson: Because it's just the way the way that I tended to write that fit into like my old life and my old lifestyle Jessica Pearson: was like... I was busy, I did teaching then directing I would take like the day that I didn't have to do anything and I would get a lot accomplished, and I would sit down and I would write a huge chunk. Jessica Pearson: And I found that it's like I just can't keep focus for that long anymore because there's so many other things just going around my head. Jessica Pearson: Um, them you know- Oh, the whether it's... it's news, whether it's personal stuff, whether it's, you know, worrying about family and friends, whether it's any of that stuff is just like, all kind of like Jessica Pearson: jangling around in my head. And that makes it a lot more difficult to be like in the golden age of musical theater. Jessica Pearson: So I'm kind of getting into a... trying to find a new... a new pattern for writing, for writing a more days and just like a little bit at a time and just like, whatever I can get out, get on the page and accomplish. Like, that's... that's an accomplishment to just like move forward from there. Jessica Pearson: Um, Jessica Pearson: But it is, it is difficult. And it's a slog in a way that it wasn't for me before. Jessica Pearson: Because I like writing. I like doing this. Jessica Pearson: And and I feel like there's this push from, I mean, and I'm not getting like external pressure at all except kinda from my mom but it's another thing Jessica Pearson: to like be super productive. But I've got this like internal thing that's like you have time, you should be productive. You should write your whole dissertation, and like learn a language, and like make a quilt... Meghan Podolsky: What? I'm feeling that very much right now! Jessica Pearson: Yeah, but it's like it's just, that's just not feasible, because it's like I can do like one thing a day Jessica Pearson: other than be anxious Meghan Podolsky: You can do two things. Jessica Pearson: I can do two things like anxiety and then like a second thing, and like sometimes that thing is like, go to the like, apocalypse grocery store, where I have to wait in line and wear like gloves and a mask to see that they don't have any chicken. Jessica Pearson: And that's emotionally exhausting. Something that Kareem said to me, and I think it was my first year, he said, Jessica, emotional labor is still labor. Jessica Pearson: And it's the most important thing that anyone's ever said to me in my graduate career. Jessica Pearson: I was like yeah, emotional labor is still labor! Jessica Pearson: And I think that this whole global pandemic requires a lot of emotional labor. Jessica Pearson: I mean, I'm like not being sad. I'm like, No, I'm still getting getting a little progress done. I was a little ahead of the, a little ahead of the curve before we went into this. Jessica Pearson: So, I'm theoretically gonna have a chapter to give to Barbara next week... Jessica Pearson: It's... it's written. It's just like a mess. Jessica Pearson: Like the footnotes are all like, footnote this. Meghan Podolsky: Add source here! Something, something Jessica Pearson: Add source! Jessica Pearson: Find better source! Meghan Podolsky: My personal favorite, I'll just put something in red, I'll be like find a better way to say this that doesn't sound stupid. Jessica Pearson: Yeah. Jessica Pearson: And there's no introduction, the sections just like move from one section to the other but like, it's a thing. Jessica Pearson: The other thing that people like, ever since I just started grad school at all, like when I started a masters Jessica Pearson: the thing people like to say to you, particularly people who are like, they don't really know you. They're just like other academic, like at conferences, they're like, it doesn't need to be good. It just needs to be done. Meghan Podolsky: That's Jessica Pearson: the thing everybody says about the diss, it doesn't need to be good. It just needs to be done. Jessica Pearson: Which at first, I'm like, That's a weird thing to say. Jessica Pearson: But now I'm really feeling like that and like it doesn't need to be good. Jessica Pearson: I can, I can fix this later. Meghan Podolsky: You just gotta get it done. Jessica Pearson: You can edit a page that exists. Yeah. You can't edit a page that doesn't exist. Jessica Pearson: I've got a lot of pages that exist. Meghan Podolsky: That's lovely. I can't wait to Meghan Podolsky: read it when you're done. Am I allowed to read that? Jessica Pearson: Yeah, I mean, I can send it to anybody. If my mom's allowed to read it, then you're allowed to read it. Meghan Podolsky: Great, I guess I'll start learning how to read then so Jessica Pearson: Yeah, so work on that... Meghan Podolsky: Yeah, yeah, I'll work on it. Okay. Um, so my personal, the question that I want to ask, is that you're teaching Intro to Acting Jessica Pearson: Yes. Meghan Podolsky: Over Zoom. Jessica Pearson: Over Zoom. Meghan Podolsky: How the heck are you doing that? Jessica Pearson: Okay, again. So, like, I feel like. I feel like a higher power was looking out for me this semester. And this is why. Jessica Pearson: It's because I have taught Intro to Acting at Tufts before. But, I've taught Intro to Acting like 100,000 times because I taught before I came back to before I came back to grad school Jessica Pearson: to do the PhD, because I like I did undergrad. Then I took a, I taught for a couple years. And then I did my Masters while I was teaching. And then I took a couple of years, and then I was like, now, PhD time. Jessica Pearson: Um, so I've taught different versions of Intro to Acting a thousand million times before. Jessica Pearson: And I've always, always done monologues first, then final scenes. Jessica Pearson: But this semester, for some reason, and there was one reason. I was talking to Pete and Pete was like, I did this thing last semester! And it was really, I can't believe I'm doing a Pete impression in this thing, it's not like going in an archive. Jessica Pearson: Anyway, I'll just delete it. When he was like, I did this thing and it was really good, because you have to learn to communicate before you learn to act by yourself, you know, and I was like, oh cool. I'll try that! Jessica Pearson: So we did scenes that midterm. So, like right after their scene projects were over, is when it was like, and now we're going online so... Jessica Pearson: it's been a little easier, I think than people who have to do like... I don't know how Murray's teaching like, Musical Theatre Workshop, to the scene study part. How do they do that? So they're doing monologues. So it's been a little easier Jessica Pearson: for me to be like, okay, great. They can just self-tape. So they've been taping monologues, and they have like I have a system where they like there's classwork and I'm doing everything kind of kind of asynchronous... Jessica Pearson: Asynchronous. Jessica Pearson: Asynchronous learning. Learning to say in spell that word has been a major accomplishment of of the quarantine. Jessica Pearson: Um, because it's like they've got class works that they work through and they've got things they need to submit and they get comments from me. Jessica Pearson: So it's kind of like I'm teaching like 21 individual monologue coachings, which is like a lot of labor for me, but it seems to be working. We're not meeting in person at all. And part of that was, I was like, I don't see... like I don't know how you do a warm up over Zoom. Jessica Pearson: I may have to figure that out, because I'm schedule to teach intro next semester. Jessica Pearson: But Jessica Pearson: But so it's just been kind of like they submit stuff and it's. The biggest shift has been, it's become kind of the film acting class just by necessity of Jessica Pearson: like they're doing monologues that they're filming themselves. So it's the frame. And so much of the difference between stage acting and film acting is about scale and about that framing Jessica Pearson: where like a big gesture that works on stage doesn't work on film. Jessica Pearson: Um, and you can really see what people's eyes are doing. So if it's like you've got like a weird shifty blinky eye, I need to be... like if we were like on stage, I wouldn't be able to see your weird shifty blinking, but now it seems intentional and I think you're lying. Um. Jessica Pearson: so it's kind of shifted and I had to like draw a lot because I have not taught film acting before. I took some filmmaking classes in undergrad Jessica Pearson: so I've been drawing a lot on that, being like, what did we do Jessica Pearson: in Acting 4 Jessica Pearson: in the mid aughts? Meghan Podolsky: Approximately anywhere from 11 to 15 years ago! Jessica Pearson:Yeah. Um, but like, surprisingly, it has gone really well. Jessica Pearson: In that like some of the students who were like just kind of okay in class have like really dug in and something about like... I don't know, if it's the time or the distraction or what it is, but they've really like put so much more work into this than I imagined them doing. Jessica Pearson: Um, and it's like, oh, this is this is legitimately good. Because the thing about Intro to Acting is the people particularly Jessica Pearson: at Tufts at least, is you don't tend to get people with a lot of, with any theater experience or who are like even, like, oh, like maybe I'll be a drama minor. Those people usually Jessica Pearson: skip intro and go into the specific acting classes Sheriden teaches. Intro is kind of like, I mean it's there for credit, Jessica Pearson: I thought this would be easy. Jessica Pearson: And literally I always start when I teach intro, I'm like, why are you here? Like what are you hoping to get out of this? And this semester good 80% of my classes like, I'm a second semester senior and I thought this would be fun. Jessica Pearson: And I was like, great. Okay. I have a goal. Jessica Pearson: And the goal is Jessica Pearson: fun. And I tried to, I said to my students like, when we went online, I was like, we had a goal of like learn some acting, have some fun. Like, that was our goal in-person and I want that to be our goal online. It's like, learn some acting, have some fun, feel more confident speaking. Jessica Pearson: And like, I think- I think I achieved that. Jessica Pearson: Just because I think the students are having a good time and are taking some ownership ownership of it. Jessica Pearson: Like that being said, there's been a whole lot of like. Jessica Pearson: There's been a learning curve of like, everybody thinking figuring out like Jessica Pearson: how do we do things on Canvas? How do we submit things on Canvas? Jessica Pearson: And, just like I just figured out, I had to like yesterday, I was like okay great, when are my grades due? Jessica Pearson: Let's Jessica Pearson: count back to how long, how long can I give them a- great, alright. This is the new due date. Everybody gets an extension cause Jessica Pearson: so many of you are freaking out and don't freak out. Don't freak out about Intro to Acting during a pandemic. Meghan Podolsky: There are so many more things to worry about. Jessica Pearson: There are so many things to freak out about, don't freak out about your Intro to Acting class. Jessica Pearson: And I was like, okay, this is how much time I need to grade and this is when. Jessica Pearson: This is when you can have everything turned in by. Jessica Pearson: And I had like a meeting with talking about possibilities for next semester with Sheriden and Maurice. Jessica Pearson: And one of the things I said is like, I'm trying to teach from this place of radical compassion this semester because the world is bullshit. And I don't need to make like there's... I don't need to make the bullshit worse. There's no reason for me to be a hardass about like, a due date. Jessica Pearson: Like this isn't, this isn't the time for that. This is the time for like, me to make any accomodation I can. Jessica Pearson: I have two students who are working as EMTs. Jessica Pearson: Yeah, I have two premed students who are working as EMTs, and like studying for the MCATs and it's just like... Don't, please don't stress about this. You're like, literally you're saving people's lives. Jessica Pearson: You have other things to worry about than like, whether your monologue is good. Jessica Pearson: Um. Jessica Pearson: So like, I'm like, that being said, like I'm still trying to like Jessica Pearson: When- when we do stuff, it's like they're- they're recording stuff. And it's like and I am giving them feedback and I'm giving them the same feedback and criticism and like Jessica Pearson: probably more detailed feedback even than I would in class because I'm able to like pause their monologue, and like write a note, and then start it again. Jessica Pearson: But, then it's just like, you know what, I'm not, I'm not super busy. Jessica Pearson: I can grade your guide your monologue tomorrow, instead of today it's not- Meghan Podolsky: Yeah. Jessica Pearson: It's not a big deal. I mean, and it's easier for me because I'm only teaching the one course. Jessica Pearson: I understand that it's different for, like people who are who are faculty who are full professors who have like, I've got a full course load. Jessica Pearson: So it's like, I can't, you know, if you've got a great a whole bunch of papers. It's easier than just being like, did you turn in your monologue? Check. Meghan Podolsky: Done. Um, you mentioned that you met with Maurice and some faculty to talk about next semester. Obviously, faculty secrets, you don't have to tell me what's going on. But also, I'm not gonna be here so I don't really care. Jessica Pearson: Yeah. Meghan Podolsky: But what I'm Meghan Podolsky: But um, what way do you see things going next semester and how do you think that will impact your teaching specifically? Jessica Pearson: Um, so everything is, and like I don't think it's a secret to say that everything is still really up in the air. Jessica Pearson: Yeah, and we don't know for sure. And we have been asked by the university to prepare for a variety of possibilities Jessica Pearson: but one of those variety of possibilities is that we are going to be online in the fall.